Wednesday, June 26, 2013

My brother's successfull dating tip

Don't get wrong on the day and the guy's name!

Thanks bro :)

(apparently I see too many different guys!!)

Monday, June 24, 2013

Preparing for the 4th date with MC

We can now go back to my history with MC, and you will see why I meeded to talk about SL before continuing the story.

So if you remember, I had invited MC for dinner on a wednesday night and he had stayed again for the night.  We had planned our next date as follow: he would come at my place on Saturday evening after an event he had to attend.  He would sleep at my place and the next day we would take part together in a walk for sick kids.

I was thinking that things could go a little further that night.  So I went to the drugstore, to purchase massaging oil, lube and condoms.  I had flashes of posts by Matt and Brad about buying lube or about going to buy something for the first time.  It made me smile! I had actually already bought condoms before ( to test how to use them!) but it was easy to hise them along with other items.  This time I was only buying "sex items" , so I felt awkward!!  It went really well actually, but thank God I didn't meet anyone I know!!!

After that, I waited patiently at home.  During the evening he actually texted me to tell me that the event would last much longer than he had expected and that he would arrive late.

In the meantime, I got to chat with SL on skype again.  I don't really remember how it came to it, but he told me that he had been indeed hurt after the few dates we had together.  So far, it was no surprise for me, because he had already told me so.  But, he added that he was still hurt.  When I read these words, I felt hurt by it.  I didn't expect him to be hurt again and I was sad for him.  I also realized a few days later that maybe I had some kind of feelings for him and that is why it hurt me.  On the moment, I felt confused by it and I didn't know how I would deal with it.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Running after SL

I had seen SL 5 days out of the last 9.  I was missing him and I really needed to talk to him about our sexual compatibility.  However, I had noticed that he was much less enthousiastic in talking to me or meeting me.  We had talked about meeting the following weekend, but then he told me that he couldn't.  That weekend, at one point he was supposed to contact me and he didn't.  I was definitely mad at him.  I remember walking around in my house, on the verge of hitting or breaking something. I went into the chat room and got to talk to a few of my friends there and it helped me calm down.

I was thinking that he had dumped me before I would have finished dealing with him.  As if the grass was cut under my feet.  It ended up that he didn't want to stop evrything with me, but it seems like I am more demanding when comes time to respect arrangements than he is.  

During the next week, we chatted again on Skype, but he was still a bit distant.  I wanted to talk about my issues, but in person, not via another mean.  But he always rejected my offers.

It happened that High School guy contacted me that week.  He was available on Friday evening.  Even if It was not really over with SL, I decided to go, since it's just so complicated to have a date with High school guy.  We went to grab a dessert at a local restaurant and we had a good time.  Near the end, he said he was happy to have met me because he learned some interesting facts about me.  In opposition to what he remembered from me from high school, I looked more interesting.  So with that kind of comment I kinda understood that he was not so eager to meet me since he thought I was boring (I was a really quiet guy in high school).  I didn't make much of a big deal about it.

The next tuesday or wednesday, it had been more than 2 weeks I had not seen SL.  But he finally explained to me why he had been so distant.

I thought it was because he didn't like me. But , it was actually the opposite...  He explained that he was starting to have feelings for me.  But at the same time, the distance between us was hurting him too much.  He had experienced it with a previous boyfriend, and he said it hurt too much and he doesn't want to live that again.  I asked him why he accepted to meet me in the first place, cause I never hid my location from him.  He said that he wanted to give it a try, but he realized that he couldn't handle it.

I asked him when he realized that.  He said that it was during the week after our last date.  I said that I thought it was before that.  He asked why.  I said that the last Sunday morning when we were in bed together, that I had found him distant and that I had been actually close to telling him.  He said that he had not felt like that that morning and that it was ally after that that he realized it.

During the rest of the week, I kept repeating to him that I wanted to see him again so we could talk.  I still wanted to talk to him about the sex issues, cause I had the feeling that he was maybe not totally honest with me and with himself about it.  I was thinking (for more reasons than I have already mentionned on this blog) that he may not fully accept being gay.  So this is definitely a topic I wanted to address with him.

He agreed to come see me on friday evening.  He would arrive at around 5PM and leave around 11PM.  I told him he could stay for the night, that we could share the bed without doing anything naughty.  He kept repeating that he wanted to go back home the same evening.  He arrived as promised.  I had wanted to prepare dinner, but it was so hot that day, I had no intention to turn the oven on.  So we chatted a bit and we went to a restaurant.  As usual, we had a good time.  I even noticed a guy from the dating site at a table nearby.  He was real cute and had nice hairy legs :). I told SL about him, but I told him that I remembered his profile and that it said that he was not interested in anyone over 25. So I knew I was out of the loop!!

After that we went shopping for something to fix his AC. ( it was really needed on that hot weekend).  We had fun shopping together, even if I usually hate shopping.  After that we went back home and went rollerblading.  I really had a good time and I felt good with him.  After the run, we were back home and chilled there a bit before he said he would leave.  I again offered him to stay for the night, but he was determined to leave.  I really wanted to cuddle him or get closer to him, but I didn't since I knew he didn't want that.  He wanted us to stay friends, so anything more than a friendship move would not be a good idea if I didn't want to hurt him.

I ended up not talking to him about sex, because we were such in a good mood, I didn't want to ruin it.  Also, since we were not dating anymore, I didn't feel like it was so important to talk about it so rapidly.  I decided that I would wait for a good moment for it to happen.

It is the next day that I met MC on the dating site and actually met him that night.  The day after that he came at my place.  I had 2 different guys visit me in 3 days, I really wonder if my neighbours think I'm a whore LOL.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

What happened to be my last date with SL

On Thursday evening, when I was chatting with SL, I told him: "You fool, you forgot your toothbrush here!!!"  He replied: "Oh no, it's a spare one I figured I could let it at your place!"  How nice was that LOL

We set up our next date for Saturday evening and Sunday. I was to go at his place (was my turn to do the road)  I arrived there around 6 I think.  We went for dinner in a Subway and we just basically had fun the whole time.  After that we went to the video store and we rented a horror movie.  Back at his place we watched the movie, but he didn't want to cuddle because he says he doesn't like to cuddle during a horror movie!! Oh well!!  After the movie, we went to bed and got intimate again hehe. 

I forgot to say in th eoprevious post:  He doesn't like being caressed a lot, especially where there is hair involved ( his chest, lower belly and armpits)  Me?? I just love to caress, especially where there is hair involved...  So it was a bit of a fight for him to let me caress him.  I also like nipple play but he doesn't... so I was a bit sad about that.  Anyways, I tried again that night and he had not changed his position about that.  We again did some jacking off, but like with Flyman, I couldn't hold it, so I was really disappointed again...  Actually he put some lube on my "apparatus" and it is actually not something that gets me more excited, so I guess I knew right away that it could be problematic so it didn't help at all!!  (Am I the only one who doesn't like that??)

Next morning, I woke up early again and tried to cuddle him.  However, he was much less responsive than usual.  I did try a few times without success.  Just holding him... but it didn't work.  I was really disappointed.  I was even more disappointed when he got up and went to take his shower.  I was laying there in his bed, wondering what was happening.  When he came back, I was about to ask him why he was so distant. But, he did cuddle up with me, so I thought that he just needed a shower.  We actually started jerking each other off again and this time I "managed" to blow.  LOL my body is tough with me!!

After that I took a shower and we spent some time at his place before going for lunch.  We had a great time again.  After that, we went rollerblading together and it was super fun again.  Well, for me at least, because he is so much better than I am, so he had to go much slower than he is used to because of me.  It lasted at between 30 minutes and an hour.  As it was my first time in 2 years I had made that sport, my old back was hurt for the next 3 days!!  We then went for an ice cream and again, it was super pleasant.  I had to leave around 3PM because I had dinner at my parents.  I really really enjoyed my day and I was looking for more of SL during the next days and he showed a lot of enthousiasm as well.

However, he mentionned something for the first time during that date and it got me by surprise.  So much (and because it is a delicate topic) , that I couldn't talk to him about it right away. I had to take time to think about it.  I won't enter in the details, but he told me that he doesn't like any kind of anal sex.  Since I do not see why I wouldn't want that as a part of my sex life (even if I can almost say Im a virgin, so I don't know if I like it or not), it could have become a bit problematic.  So, I felt that I needed to talk about that to him as soon as possible, in person.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

My first night at SL's and how his toothbrush found its way in my bathroom

Before going further in my story with MC, I have to finish the story with SL. 

To sum up what I have already written about him (gee my blog is getting so unchronological, even I had a hard time to re-do the chronolgy of what I wrote about him) ; here is a small recap:

Saturday morning: I start chatting with him on dating site
Saturday evening: we have dinner and go see a movie
Sunday morning: we chat again
Sunday evening: he comes at my house and we chat a long time.  He leaves and I wonder if I made enough to make him like me.  While on the road, he texts me and I know he is still interested.
Monday evening: I go at his place and intend to sleep there.
Monday night: still to cover (in this post!!)
Wednesday evening and night: still to cover (in this post)
Thursday morning: he leaves his toothbrush at my place.
Following 2 weeks: still to cover (in next post)
The Tuesday after that: realization that it won't work with him (the post "Sometimes)

OK, so since it was a while back, unfortunately I may forget a few interesting parts,but you will get the picture!.

My first night at SL's

I had arrived there quite late, between 9 and 10.  We watched a bit of a hockey game.  After that we watched a stupid TV show and we were watching it laying cuddling one behind the other on his couch. It was actually the first time we had got closer so it was real nice.  When we got to bed, we were kinda exploring each other's upper buddy (we didn't go down the waist) and it was nice as well.  I don't think we kissed. I told him that I was shy to kiss and he said it was the same for him.  It had been a few months since I had cuddled like that and it was nice to do it again.  Needless to say I didn't sleep a lot that night!  His bed was not super comfortable, I was sleeping at a new place, beside a super hot guy, so no, I couldn't find sleep LOL.

The next morning, we were both awake before the alarm clock rang, so he took that opportunity to caress each other again.  I think he onced put his hand on my package very quickly, but I didn't do the same!  When the alarm rang, I couldn't get up immediately because I didn't want him to see how excited I was hahahah.  But it turns out that he never stopped caressing me so it never got any smaller....  at one point I really had to get up so I try to hide it but I'm pretty sure he saw it anyways.  I prepared to leave and I think we simply hugged when I left.  I had 1h15 of road to do before arriving home , shower and have breakfast and then go to work, but it was all worth it.

The toothbrush

I dont remember if it was Tuesday evening or early wednesday evening that SL told me he would come see me again.  He was saying that since I had done all that road on a weeknight for him, he should do the same.  And lucky him he started work around 11 the next morning so he had a nice buffer.

I dont remember much from that evening.  We watched again the same stupid shows while cuddling.  Then we went to bed.  This time, he started exploring a bit further down on me.  Politeness obliges, I did the same :)  At one point, I was having his "apparatus" in my hand and it seemed odd to me.  I asked: "Are you cut?" He said yes.  It was the first time I was touching that LOL (Not that I have touched many... I guess only 2: mine and Flyman's prior to that and we are but uncut).  We didn't really do much more than touching and caressing that night.  We then agreed to sleep, but I didn't sleep a lot that time either!

Next morning, we were both awake early and we continued out play from the night before...  I'm blushing for what I'm going to write next, but anyways....  We were wanking each other out and I made him blow.  First time that this happened to me.  I had not succeded doing that with Flyman.  I have to admit I was really happy about it!  Unforatunately once that done, he lost interest in continuing for my own pleasure, so it ended there.  I took my shower and when I came out of the bathroom, he only wanted to brush his teeth and pee before leaving. So I let him do his stuff and then he left.

Its only when I was brushing my teeth later that morning that I spotted his toothbrush in my toothbrush holder.  I couldn't help but smile and think that things were getting interesting!!

I didn't focus on this in this post, but during these dates, we continued having a great time together and getting along very well.  We shared a common sense of humor and I definitely felt closer to him averytime we would meet or chat.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Surprise after the third date!

Thursday afternnon, I was at work and during a break, I went to see my facebook.

To my surprise, MC had written something very personal on his page.

He wrote a love letter to me, but not mentionning my name, for all of his friends to see what was happening in his life.

He went into a lot of detail, explaining what we did in our first 3 dates and how he feels about me and why he loves me.

Sure, it is nice to know all that, but I was relly shocked, but not necessarily in a bad way.  He confirmed in his post that he does like me, that it is true and that he hopes we will build something together.

Luckily he didn't tag me or I would have been embarassed lol.  But I guess it's OK.  I'm not really afraid of his feelings even if I don't have them for him.  I just hope that he can understand that and that it won't be a problem in the short term.  I simply want to continue seeing him and go out together and also be more intimate.  But I don't want to rush anything. As always I want to go with the flow.  But I hink he is ok with that!  I guess he is just much more of a " fast lover " and likes to share with his friends all what is happening in his life ( while I prefer to do it on an anonymous blog hahaha)

Stay tuned for the next date on Saturday evening and Sunday.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Third date with MC

I decided to invite MC for dinner on wednesday night.  I didn't have much time to prepare food, so I went to the grocery store to buy dessert and wine and back home, I prepared hamburger and a salad.  When he arrived I was still preparing food, so we started chatting in the kitchen.  It was kinda funny because we had not kissed or touch each other yet.  After a small while, he grabbed me and we started making out.  It was already dark outside, so anybody who could have walked in the streets could have seen us, but I didn't care! ( I actually don't know if someone saw us) I had forgotten to buy ketchup, so as it is the only condiment I put in my hamburgers, it was kinda necessary! So we went together at the grocery store to buy it.  Back home, we started eating and it was really nice.  We still don't always something to talk about ( we are both not the most extrovert guys). But I took these moments to just look at him :)

After the meal, we went in the living room to watch a movie.  I had been at Jack's before going to the grocery store to borrow him a few movies.  I told him that I had invited a guy over and that I had planned to watch a movie during the evening.  sadly he didn't really ask any question.  I was eager to tell him more, but I guess it will be for another time.

We watched the movie laying side by side on the couch, and I have to admit that we missed a few parts of the movie LOL.  After the movie ended, we made out again for a long time on the couch.  Then, when we decided to go to bed ( way past 11) , he went to take a shower and I waited for him in my bed. When he came back, he joined me in bed and , guess what, we cuddled and kissed more.  

He actually initiated a bit of " dirty stuff" when he removed my dick from my boxers.  There is no need for me to elaborate a lot but we played there as well LOL.  At one point he asked me if i wanted to do it, but I said no, as I was not "there".  He was totally OK with that.  It was 2AM when we decided to call it a night, as I had set the alarm clock for 6AM the next morning.

Next mornning, when the alarm rang, we kissed and cuddled more haha and also played a bit down there!  Aftr 30 minutes I had to go take my shower so I left him again.  When I came back he had done the bed again.  I quickly had breakfast while he took a shower.  We were both ready to leave at the same time.  We kissed again in the stairs ( but this time I was clothed, so it was less sensual haha) and went outside together.  We kissed again in my driveway, and it was my first PDA ever!  I actually don't know if my neighbours saw me, but I have to admit it felt weird!


After the movie the night before, he had told me twice that he loved me.  Back outside on thursday morning, he said it again.  As I didn't really how to react ( and because I don't have the same feelings for him! ) I simply kissed him.  I thought that it was really early to say such a thing, but I didn't got bothered or anything, I just hope that he understands that I am not that fast to have these feelings.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Second date with MC

The day after our first date was a Sunday and he was working and I had a dinner at my parents.  Once back home at around 8 PM, I started exchanging messages with MC again and he was saying he wanted to come see me.  I told whim that I was not feeling so well, because I had allergies or a cold ( not sure what has been hitting me lately).  he said he didn't mind and that it would be worth it. So I said that he could do as he wished, so he came over.

Once he arrived, we talked for a while on the couch.  Then, I started throwing a pillow at him and after the 3rd time , I think, he jumped over me to tickle me.  I am so ticklish!!  I was now laying on my back and he was above me.  It was a fight as to who would tickle the other the most.

At a certain point we both surrendered and we were laying either side by side or one on top of the other.  He wanted to kiss me but I told him I was still too shy.  At a moment when I was on top of him, I was so close to his face.  I thought that his mouth and lips were just stunningly beautiful.  So I started sliding my finger on or right beside his lips.  It was hot hahah!  After a few minutes, I wanted to kiss him, so I slowly did it. One, two, than more soft kisses.  We both smiled and we kissed and made out a lot.  If you guys remember, I didn't really like kissing Flyman.  I think he was not sensual enough.  But with MC it's just perfect!!  He also kissed me at various places above the shoulders and I didn't know that I would like being kissed that much, I had shivers!  Especially in the head, through the hair hahah WEIRD,  lol!

At a moment when we were simply cuddling he told me: "Where were you hidden all that time?"  Isn't that adorable!?

When it had become late, I told him he had 3 options: go back to his parents ( I told him I was sure he had a curfew haha he didn't like that lol) ; sleep on the couch; or sleep with me, but I specified " no dirty stuff". He asked if kissing was considered dirty and I said no haha.  So he chose that option!

W went to bed and cuddled and kissed some more.  Than we agreed to sleep and we tried sleeping next to each other, but I am just not capable to deal with so much heat when I want to sleep.  So I had to get a bt away from him and I told him it was simply too hot for me.

The next morning, when the alarm rang, we kissed and cuddled some more ( oh and of course, we both didn't sleep a lot, since I was always coughing from my cold and needing to evacuate the stuff from my nose quite often). At one point I just had to get up and have my shower.  I did so and when I came back, he was already clothed and he had done the bed ( so nice!). I was simply in boxer briefs and as he was leaving, we were standing in the stairs and we started kissing again.  His hands were running beside me and on my bum , it felt so good ( and right!). I had never felt like that before.

Monday, June 3, 2013

3 dudes, a car and a date

I will come back soon on the story with SL, but since there is new stuff happening, I don't want to delay it too much, like I have a bad habit to do!

I exchanged messages with 3 different guys on Friday and Saturday.  (I am sadly the one who initiated them all... maybe my profile doesn't show the best of me!?!?)  The first one was nice, but he would not really initiate anything, he was imply replying to my messages.  Saturday morning I wrote that we should have a drink together sometimes.  He answered that it could happen in the future.  Dude, where is your enthousiasm??  So I decided to let him breathe a bit and I went looking for other guys. 

I saw another one who seems quite interesting. On his profile he described himself and what he likes and he also described the kind of guy he wants.  It turns out that I like the kind of perosn he is and I thought I answered all of his "criterias" but one.  The one I lacked is the one he said he wanted a guy who takes care of himself.  I thought it meant a guy well defined and muscled.  Anyways, I thought I was good enough (LOL) and sent him a message.  He replied and he asked me what made me write to him. I said that as cheesy as it sounds, I liked everything of his profile! And also that I think that I answer at a minimum level of what he is looking for.  He replied jokingly in friend about the cheesy part... unfortunately I know no translation in English, so its too bad for you guys ;)  He also asked why I think I answer to the minimum.  I replied that I am not in great shape, but yet I still have a hairy chest (he says it's a plus haha).  He replied that he doesn't necessarily want a super fit guy and was happy to learn about my chest LOL.  I replied that I would answer to the maximum criterias then!!  He was impressed haha and said that he was intrigued (isn't that just perfect when you're trying to date a guy!?!? hahaha)

He asked me my qualities, and I answered that I am really not good at selling myself, but that I would give it a try.  So I liste a few of my qualities and inserted that I like to tease* people (which can be viewed as a bad trait for some I suppose).  I was looking forward to his answer.  He said that I made a really good job at selling myself and that he likes people who tease because it shows humour.

* Once again I don't have the perfect translation, but what i mean is I like to kid, make fun of people but not in a bad way.  People who can't laugh of themselves don't really like this trait.  Can you guys submit me a list of adjective that could be a good definition? I will tell if one fits.

He asked me then what bad traits people think I have.  I gave him 2 , mentionning how I prefer to describe myself, rather than how people perceive me regarding these 2 traits.  I also asked him what are his good and bad sides.  As of now (I am typing these words sunday morning), he has not replied yet.

While I was chatting with that guy, I saw another guy who seemed interesting once again.  I sent him a message and he quickly replied.  Surprisingly he also asked me what made me write to him so I said I thought he was really cute and that I liked what he wrote on his profile.  He replied something similar to what I said and we realized that we both had nothing to do that night.  I suggested that we could meet and he agreed.

It may sound fast, but I don't really see the point in chatting forever with a guy without meeting him.  I mean, we could get along well chatting online, but maybe it couldn't click for real, so I prefer to meet soon.

It was already past 7 and I hadn't had dinner yet  I quickly ate and went to meet him.  We actually live 50 minutes apart so we agreed to meet in a town inbetween.  He said we could go walk in a park and then go for a coffee or something. He suggested we meet in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart and that he would drive us to the park (since he knows the place better then I do)

I have been given a good advice by a friend from the chatroom who told me that I should always tell someone when I have a first date with a guy, in case things could turn bad.  So I called my brother and told him I would meet this new guy and told him where I was going.  He asked what happened with the previous guy and I told him quickly.  Later during the date I sent a text message to my brother to tell him that all was alright.

So I arrived in the parking lot and the guy, let's call him MC, had texted to me to say he had arrived.  It was already kinda dark and I saw only one car that could be his.  I parked a few meters away from it and looked, but couldn't tell if it was the right guy.  I texted him, but somehow his phone wasnot working anymore, so he didn't reply.  Then I saw him wave at me so I went to his car and recognized him.  I entered in his car and we went to the park.  It felt awkward to meet a guy and the first thing I do I get in his car... 

We were both a bit shy I guess.  We didn't talk a lot.  When he talked he was talking about his boss and I was hoping he would not break my ears with her all night long hahaa.  At the park we started to walk and it was already almost total night so I was a bit afraid that I was alone with a complete stranger in the dark, but he seemed ok (in the future I will be more cautious about that).  We didn't talk a lot neither and I was thinking maybe we wouldn't connect.  Then it seemed like a storm was coming so I suggested we go back.  2 minutes after we got back in the car it started pouring rain!

We went in a coffee shop and unfortunately there was lots of weird people being loud.  We made fun out of it and we started being more at ease (finally!) with each other.  When we had enough of the loud people, we left and went back to the parking lot.  We stayed in his car for at least 45 minutes and we chatted about many different things and I got to show him my silly side.  I think we spent more than half of the time we spent together in his car, so that was a bit weird haha, cause in a car you're side by side, not face to face. (hmm why do I write that it is obvious! LOL)

He touched my knee or my thigh a few times near the end but I didn't do the same cause I'm just too shy LOL. He was often looking at me with his really beautiful eyes and I felt my "ovaries" at work LOL.  OK I admit my "ovaries" were not 100% responsible for that, because I did feel some sensual tension between us.  It was actually the first time I felt that with a guy I was meeting for the first time.

After the 3rd time I said I should leave, I hugged him as a goodbye and he kissed my neck.  I didn't do the same and I hope he won't take that as a sign I am not interested.  I got out of his car, entered mine, and as I left I waved at him and he waved at me.

I'm happy to see that even if it was a bit awkward at first, the date went better and I would like to meet him again :)

Sunday, June 2, 2013

First anniversary!

Yay!  It's been a year I started this blog and I'm so happy I did!

Even if I knew I wanted to be super honest, I didn't know that that honesty and "openness" would also develop in other aspects of my life.  I actually sometimes have to stop myself from saying a few things to some people because I think it would be inappropriate.  What a change from the guy who kept all his feelings for himself :)

A good example is this week at work, there were some gardeners doing work outside and from my window I could see them.  Just as one hot guy was working below my window, Vickie called me to settle a problem.  I went to see her and I told her it was really a bad timing because of the show she made me miss.  She was like " Huhhh??"  So I explained that I was missing the hot gardener on all fours on the ground.  She was shocked and said: "OMG there is only you to say that!!!"  It was funny, but I did miss the show in the end :(  Anyways, I would never have imagined to say something like that before!!

Saturday, June 1, 2013

My ovaries!

Ok, first of all no I am not going to change sex and I have always been a guy :).  My ovaries refer to the thing in my body ( or mind) that decides to arouse me when I am not sexually stimulated.

Hmmm whaaaatttt!?!? hahaha

I came up with that expression the first time I got excited by someone but not sexually.  I was so surprised when it happened that I came up with it LOL.  I shared a few of these moments with a few of my online friends and they thought I was funny so I continued with it ;)

How des it happen?  When a guy is nice to me.  For example, it just happened a few minutes  ago when I was chatting with a new prospect on the dating site and he said I was cute and that he liked my profile.  I got hard. (sorry if I'm too straightforward LOL).  It also happened when I was chatting the first day with SL.  We were just planning our meeting at the movie theatre when I realized I was hard.... 

I guess most guys (and maybe some girls too) are thinking " Are you kidding me?? you just found that out recently!?"  Well, yes! haha.  It's another positive aspect of my journey going forward I suppose!!