I suppose I puzzle a lot of persons about that question by reading your comments!!
I have to admit that I am surprised at how complicated I am!!
As I have said, kissing is something that I find really sexy and it is something that I am looking forward to do. However, I have not felt the desire to kiss Flyman just yet. He has kissed me, but I haven't. And I have told him not to kiss my mouth. He cheated once haha!! I forgive him!
I know that I can let myself go a bit and I have done that on other aspects of our "relationship". But I am blocked about kissing. During the 3rd date, after I had told him that I didn't hink it would click, he offered me to "teach me tricks". I declined the offer!
I think I'm more open than before about kissing even if I don't have strong feelings for him. But, I want it to happen naturally. I just don't want it to happen because one of us has rationnally decided that it was the moment. I want it to go with the flow, like for the cuddling and touching that we've enjoyed so far. Once again, he is very respectful about that, even if he cheated once!
I'm really curious to know when things will unblock for me!!
Just curious....how old are you?
ReplyDeleteI'm 30.
DeleteYeah I'm kind of a teenager in a man's body LOL
DeleteBut a sweet one!
Delete-Shell
ooh you're 30. haha. aw that's so cute lol that you're fretting over kissing :P but it also makes a lot of sense so no worries
DeleteI'm curious to know why you say it makes lots of sense.
DeleteKissing a man is of primary importance to me in terms of arousal but I don`t need to have much of an emotional connection to do it. I never agree to hook up with a guy UNLESS he will kiss me.
ReplyDeleteI know you are proceeding at your own pace and comfort level but I do wonder if you are over-thinking all of this? I think that he is being extremely patient with you.
If you did allow him to `show you some tricks`, I think that you would quickly get into the physical intimacy and all your worries would fly out of your head. Sort of like having an out-of-body experience.
That`s exactly how I felt during my first time with a man, which I posted about here (part 1) and here (part 2.)
More details to come :)
DeleteJF, as I follow your story, while it is always interesting, it is so different from mine. As a straight female, kissing a male is a natural occurance at the end of a date, even the first one. That was why I asked you in the comments section about your Second Date, whether you were attracted to Flyman.
ReplyDeleteI admit I was surprised you ended up going out with him, when you didn't seem to want to kiss him as part of the dating process.
Susan I don't know what to reply to this :) I'm not saying I would never want to kiss him as part of the dating process, just that during the 1st 3 dates I was not comfortable doing it.
DeleteThat's OK, JF. We all have to do what is comfortable for each one of us. Thanks for the response. :)
Deleteamen to everything said above
ReplyDeleteI can identify with this, as unusual as it may seem to others. For myself, I have always found kissing to me more emotionally loaded and intimate than other physical expressions that two guys may share. I only kiss guys I truly care for and find that it is usually the indication and precursor to a relationship versus a physical romp with a friend. There is nothing wrong with being who you are and feeling as you do. Take you time, or not. It will all make more sense as time goes by. Cheers!
ReplyDeletedaemon
Thanks a lot daemon :)
DeleteI'm with Daemon on this one. Kissing may be very casual for a lot of people, but it's not casual for you. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteI admire the way you've approached this journey. You have always been true to yourself and you've been SO honest throughout it all. I imagine you share what you do for the benefit of others as much as for yourself.
You'll unblock. And have fun along the way. :)
Thanks Ann Marie :)
DeleteOnce again, he is very respectful about that, even if he cheated once!
ReplyDeleteThis statement strikes me as a contradiction in terms. To be honest, I'm at the point where I'm not sure how respectful he's being. Yeah, he keeps saying he'll respect your boundaries. Yet he keeps testing them and seeing just how far he can go. Even constantly bringing up your boundaries to say he respects them is starting to strike me as a way of testing/pushing them.
But that's just how I'm starting to see things. You (and others) may see things differently.
OK, maybe cheating is a bit too hard of a word. It's a bit hard to try to express all that is going on, but I fell like he is 100% respectful with me. Another way to say this would be that I have never felt not at ease with what we've been doing.
DeleteFair enough. :-) After all, that's what's important.
DeleteVery true :)
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