Explaining the last post

Hey all!!  I feel dumb for not explaining the song choices from my earlier post, but I knew I would get to it.

Radioactive

If you remember I was set to have a tennis date with a cool guy I had been chatting with.  We had exchanged our phone numbers and at around 5PM one night, he sent a text to me, asking if I would like to have an ice cream later that night.  I remember doing a huge smile, as it was a total surprise, but also that someone was doing actually more than I was expecting from him, which doesn't really happen often (especially with dating).  I replied that I would like it and we scheduled our meeting.

I went there and he was waiting for me.  He had told me that he would go with his bike, which I thought was a cycling bike, but it turned out that it was a motorbike (hot !).  We both ordered a sundae and we went to eat it outside (finally the temperature is warming up it is very welcome!!)  We chatted for more than half an hour, eating our sundae.  I was attacked by a spider that had climbed up to my neck.  He was really freaked out and said it was a f**ing huge spider.  Well I was not afraid and it was really small (pumping chest LOL). I just brushed it off and he managed to find the courage to kill it (now that I'm thinking about it it was totally unnecessary! we were outside!)  Anyways, we were both finished and he wanted to do a ride because of the nice temperature so we went back to the parking. We small talked a bit and we confirmed the tennis date for the next Sunday.

Going back home, I was thinking if there is some potential with him and I thought yes, even if there were a few things that we didn't have common interests, but I thought we still needed to get to know each other more.  We continued chatting through the week and on Sunday I was looking forward to our tennis date.  Since the tennis court was in my town and actually near from home, I thought maybe we could happen to have to come to my house to maybe just chill out or something after the game.

My house was a total mess, so I started a huge house cleaning chore.  Like 3 or 4 hours.  It had been a really long time that my house was not as clean!!  By early afternoon, I was expecting him to text me to tell me he was coming over.  He had not yet so I sent him a text at 2.  He didn't reply and I was getting depressed again.  In the meantime, my mother came to do a quick visit and I was glad that I had done major cleaning or I would have had the mom speech!!

While she was there, he replied to me at around 2:30 and he said that he had just woke up because he had partied the night before.  I highly doubted that since I had seen he had been connected on the dating sites a few times during the day, but I was willing to think that maybe his phone was doing tricky things.  But if true, I was disappointed that he would not give that much importance to our date and allow himself to wake up too late for it.  He said that it was too late for the tennis game because he had a dinner coming soon.  But he said that maybe we could meet later that night and i told him to sent me a sign when that happens.

I told all that to my mom and she said he was not reliable and that I should forget about him.  Well, if he was going to send me a sign, I would have accepted to meet him. But..... he never did of course. He has never came back to me.

So, for the second time in a row, I couldn't go past a first date, been if I thought that things had not been bad.  I thought maybe these guys think I'm radioactive and they want to go as far as possible from me when they realize that.  I just don't understand why he continued to chat with me through the week and why he offered to meet later if he was clearly not interested...that's just stupid, lame and weak.  I've been told that for some guys (or girls also I suppose) it's just easier to not reply, rather than reply and say what they really think.  Well that sucks!!  If we have met I think there is a moral obligation to confirm that you are not interested anymore.... but I suppose that it's just me.

Too close

OK this is different than the usual stories I have shared so far.  I think it was last Sunday or Monday night I was in the chat room and just hanging in there.  Then I started to talk to one of the guys there that is a regular but that I had not really got to talk to a lot. (I don't remember how and who initiated the discussion)  At a certain point, he asks if I have already seen pics of him. I say no and he sends me some.  He's a really good looking guy, not the model-type, but he definitely has something special (he doesn't think he is hot but I think he is!!)  So we continue talking and at another point he asks me what I'm doing and I say I'm chatting there in the chat room and also on Skype.  He says you have Skype? I say yes! He asks me to add him and I do so cause I like to chat with people on Skype.  He asks if I want to have just voice or the cam too. I say that I don,t mind about the cam, but most people I chat with prefer only the voice.  He says he doesn,t care either so we end up video chatting for a bit.  I was actually very tired and I had suggested maybe another time but he insisted, so I said OK but not for too long.  So we start the video chat and I see that he is even nicer in action than on his pics LOL.  He has this gorgeous smile and really beautiful blue eyes. 

Now if you remember one of my posts from December when I was talking about that waiter from the reception room, you know that I am not one to notice or remember physical aspects (especially hair and eyes). I actually very very very rarely notice eyes.  But it happened that night.  They were just so beautiful LOL.  Anyways, we small talked for a bit and then I quit because I really had to go sleep.  I didn't think that anything special had happened and it was just a nice chat I had with this guy.

The next morning I woke up and I was thinking about him.  All day I thought about him.  When I realized that I was always seeing him in my head, I was pissed at myself.  Why do I have to "fall" for this guy I have been in contact with for like 30 minutes and not for guys who are closer and for whom something could be possible! (the skype guy is from somewhere down in the US).  Of course I was happy to experiment this feeling of thinking about this guy I liked, it was just not the good guy!!  So that's why I felt that I was "too close".  I can't just throw myself in wanting to have things go further with that guy.  He would actually have to be interested in me at first, but this is doubtful.  he told me that if we lived closer he would like to go have a coffee with me, but that is just politeness and I am aware that it doesn't mean anything.  And even if it did mean something....  the distance barrier is still there, so I better not get too close.

Luckily two days later I had a chat with my lil big gay bro and he got me feeling better about it. More to come!