Hey everyone!! Sorry for the lack of posts lately. It's not that I didn't have anything to say... I just didn't have these windows of time to write something coherent.
For a long time, I have wished that I would be totally out at work before our Christmas party that will be on December 15th. But before letting it out, I needed to tell one last person. It's the girl I have already talked about who focuses so much on gays. She's also the girl who wanted me to date the girl from work last year. You may wonder why I wanted to tell her in private. It's because we have lots of fun together. We share the same humour and we like to do pranks together.
I had imagined a few lines to come out to her. I wanted to make her feel in discomfort before telling her, because she likes to do that to other people. She has certainly done that to me in the past!
The previous girl (lets call her Vickie) I had come out to at told me that this girl (let's call her Candy) wouldn't stop telling her how of a great couple we would be together Vickie and I. So I decided to play with that.
During the morning, I went to see Vickie and told her that I would like to come out to Candy during lunchbreak. She said : "Please do it!! She harasses me since the day you came out to me because she knows we went for lunch together and she wants to know but I swear I didn't tell her." Strangely, instead of scaring me, it really pumped me more to do it. I talked to her about my plan and she agreed it would be nice.
When lunchtime came, Candy asked Vickie if she wanted to go take a walk (as they always do). Vickie said she had stuff to do (how well did she play that along!!) and I said that I would go with her.
So we go outside walking, we talk a bit about the upcoming party etc... Then I say: "So, it seems you've been harassing Vickie to jump over me!!" Unfortunately, she was not in discomfort as I would have wished. She simply started talking about the fact that we had went for lunch together and that we shared a big secret and she seems jealous of Vickie.... So I told her: "Do you want to know or not what is going on??" She replied something like you can be together if you want and was talking about that. I was not really listening to her. But I was not feeling bad even if I knew that I was going to tell her very soon. It was actually the first time that I didn't notice my heart beating faster before coming out. She continues to talk and I say: "No, I'm gay". She says: "OK... really?... OK... really?" I could smell a slight confusion!!
She said that she was really fine with it and wanted me to be happy. Than she beat me at the line and said: "So, we'll always go shopping together!!!" And I said "Oh no!! I really wanted to tell you the opposite before you told me that!!" It was funny!
She talked to me how the "gay world" could be cruel and that she hoped I would not get emotionnally hurt. I'd say I'm not sure it is the best thing to tell to a guy who has come out to you, but it was really heartfelt and I could feel that she cared for me so it's fine. We talked about lots of stuff and it was again, lots of fun. She said that now she would know what kind of person to try to match with me!!
When I went back in my office, I wrote an email to tell my boss that I had told Candy. When I had come out to him, he had told me that he would like to know when I tell her, because he knew she could be jealous. So I did as he asked (he's my boss, right!?!? ), but I did it by sending this e-mail:
Object: The hen has lost her teeth
Message: But she's still smiling
When he read it, he came over to see me and was like "What the fuck with the hen!?!?" Hahaha. I said that I had told him like he wanted to. He was still confused. I added: "About Candy". A few more seconds of hesitation, then the enlightment!! He said that the email was really far fetched!! I agreed, but it was just so much fun!!
Now, will I make sure that everyone knows I'm gay before the party?? I would really like to, because I want to see how everyone will be with me. But I have a small timeframe... The next few days will be interesting!!
I admire the way you're pushing ahead with your plan of being out to everyone! Fantastic!!
ReplyDeleteThanks! Your time will come too!
DeleteThanks! But actually, I came out to everyone two years ago, my three kids (now 20, 18, 16), parents, work colleagues, siblings, friends etc. My wife (soon-to-be-ex) already knew.
DeleteEveryone was fantastic! No concerns at all!
JF, I hope you are able to let everyone know before the party. It seems to be what you want. Congrats on acting on what is best for you!
ReplyDeleteThank you Susan
DeleteLOL - loved the shopping bit. Loved your confidence too. How many more people at work would you need to tell before the party?
ReplyDeleteNow there is nobody I need to tell in private. I'm still thinking on what my attitude should / will be next week.
DeleteOh Lord, it sounds like you have plans. :)
DeleteThe hen has lost her teeth. Haha! You're funny, JF. The party is next Friday or Saturday, right? How many more people do you want to tell? Good luck!
ReplyDelete-Shell
It will be on Saturday. I don't need to tell anyone in private now. As I wrote to Ann Marie, I'm trying to figure out how I will behave next week.
Delete