Demons

We all have our demons.  Some of bigger than others. Some have too many to be happy.

One of the guys that I met and that I have yet to blog about....  he told me this Saturday that he found life to be really hard.  He told me all that was making him go nuts.  He said that he would be much more at peace once dead.  I was shocked and sad by what he said and I told him to not consider suicide.  He said he was not serious about it but I am still scared.  The next morning, I texted him:

"We all have our demons. Even me. We just need to find a way to neutralize them"

He replied a Thank you.

Later that day he told me he was feeling better, but I know that he has not neutralized his demons. I want to help him with that and I hope he will let me do it.

Prior to that, in the afternoon, I learned that a brilliant young guy I know, only 18, commited suicide.

I am totally baffled and shocked by this news. By the fact that this guy took the lucid decision that the best thing to do for him was to end his life.

It's.....  I don't even know what word to use.

I'm an optimistic guy, even if I have some hard times... and hearing my friend talk about that on Saturday and learning about this other guy doing it.....  I can't imagine what their state of mind can be.

This morning, after talking to a few other friends of this guy and also his brother who is totally shattered by his loss, I can't help thinking that it is such a selfish gesture.  His brother is traumatized for life, his boyfriend will probably be too.  His loving mother, his caring friends.....  I chatted with one guy who said that he was his best friend.  Everyone can't stop crying....

It's horrible.

The worst part is that he had many people he could have talked to.  He was not alone.  Maybe he thought he was but he wasn't.  So many people could have helped him.

I'm just so sad.....

Passion

I met a guy yesterday night and he asked what were my passions.

I was a bit baffled by his question, since I don't think I have any :(

I am interested in many things, but there is not one or two specific things that I could call a passion.

I felt a little bit "lifeless" after that....  should I have a passion? Am I less interesting if I don't have any passion?!?

Confusion with mixed dating sites

As you probably all know, there are mixed (straight and gay) dating sites as well as "specialized" (for lack of a better term!!)

When I create a profile on a mixed site, I specify that I am a man seeking for another man.

So how am I suggested to talk to girls or straight guys?? And to make thing worst, sometimes it is nit even written what the suggested person is looking for.... so I end up not knowing if the guy is straight or gay....  As if life was not already not complicated enough lol!!!

I don't know... is it because these straight girls have mistakenly identified as men and that these straight guys have mistakenky specified they were seeking for men??  Or is it the dating site that really sucks at "classifying" their "customers!?!?

Oh well..... have a great week end!!

PS sorry for the lack of entries... I've been lazy but I promise I'll catch up.

Meeting a normal gay couple for the first time

I spent yesterday evening with a couple of gays just a bit older than me who live like 5 minutes from me by bike ( I went at their place by bike).  I met them this winter when I went at the "sugar shack" activity with the local LGBT group.  One of the guys had found me on facebook and we were saying hi once in a while.  The guy had been asking if I wanted to do somethin ( not sexually!!) with them and I had said sure.

Yesterday, during dinner, I saw that he was online on facebook and I thought I could ask them.  I did and they said sure!!  So I went there after dinner and we spent the evening chit chatting on their backyard deck.  It lasted a bit more than 2 hours and it was a really nice evening.  What I liked the most is how they just seem so normal hahahah.  I had met a couple of gay guys back when I was with Flyman.  But they were not people I would have liked to hang around with.  They were way too superficial for me.  

I'm happy to know these guys.  One of them is more shy and less inclined to do sports, but the other one is more "social" and ge would like me to initiate him to alpine skiing next winter.  Yay!!  I haven't had a skiing buddy for a few years, so if he likes it I may have found pne!!

Today I'm going at an uncle's as he invited all the family to father in and around the pool, as it is so hot!!!

Hopefully many of my cousins will be there so we could play, laugh and have a good time all around!!!

Please give me feedback on this

Guys, girls, please fulfill my attention whoreness!!

Ok, what do you think is happenning if I get hard when I start talking on phone with a (my?) man, even if it is not a sexual discussion at all!?

I have an idea of what's happening, but I want your opinion... I can't really talk about that to anyone in "real life".

My brother's successfull dating tip

Don't get wrong on the day and the guy's name!

Thanks bro :)


(apparently I see too many different guys!!)

Preparing for the 4th date with MC

We can now go back to my history with MC, and you will see why I meeded to talk about SL before continuing the story.

So if you remember, I had invited MC for dinner on a wednesday night and he had stayed again for the night.  We had planned our next date as follow: he would come at my place on Saturday evening after an event he had to attend.  He would sleep at my place and the next day we would take part together in a walk for sick kids.

I was thinking that things could go a little further that night.  So I went to the drugstore, to purchase massaging oil, lube and condoms.  I had flashes of posts by Matt and Brad about buying lube or about going to buy something for the first time.  It made me smile! I had actually already bought condoms before ( to test how to use them!) but it was easy to hise them along with other items.  This time I was only buying "sex items" , so I felt awkward!!  It went really well actually, but thank God I didn't meet anyone I know!!!

After that, I waited patiently at home.  During the evening he actually texted me to tell me that the event would last much longer than he had expected and that he would arrive late.

In the meantime, I got to chat with SL on skype again.  I don't really remember how it came to it, but he told me that he had been indeed hurt after the few dates we had together.  So far, it was no surprise for me, because he had already told me so.  But, he added that he was still hurt.  When I read these words, I felt hurt by it.  I didn't expect him to be hurt again and I was sad for him.  I also realized a few days later that maybe I had some kind of feelings for him and that is why it hurt me.  On the moment, I felt confused by it and I didn't know how I would deal with it.