Hello (__)I write you this letter to make you know about the recent developments in my life. For more than a year now, I have imposed on myself a lot of questioning and thinking. The goal was to get to know me better and once that would be done, to accept and love myself as the person I would discover I am, without trying to change me. So, I am gay and I live well with it. My family knows and supports and continues to love me like before. I admit that without that, it would be very difficult to go forward, so I really thank them for that.I admit that I am lucky in the way that I have never been victim of intimidation and mostly, it has never shaken me to think that I was gay. You probably wonder why I waited for so long before coming out. I would say that it is something that needs to be done when you’re ready. It makes it easier, even if it is not easy at all. Coming out to my parents was the most terrifying and difficult experience in my life. Like we say, you have to live it to understand what it is. I imagine that it is like being a parent: we may have many ideas on what it could be, but we really need to live it to understand all the subtleties, the doubts and fears that loom over our head when it happens to us.I would like to use that opportunity to explain what it means that I am gay. It means that I like men and that I want to make my life beside another man. It’s simple, isn’t it? Now, here is what it doesn’t mean. The list is much longer, because there is still a lot of strong bias in our society. It doesn’t mean that I am weak, that I will die of AIDS, that I am sick, that I am less of a man than straight guys, that I can’t love a man as much as a man can love a woman, that I am depraved, that I am unfaithful, that I don’t want to be a father, that I could not be a good father, that I will suddenly act differently, that I am ignominious, that I don’t deserve to be happy…. And many more!Finally, I would like to explain my choice to send you a letter instead of talking to you in person. First, I am not the type to make a big public announcement. I prefer to go one or two person at the time to have a better contact. So, I could have tried to meet you in person to tell you. Maybe you would have preferred it this way. But, as I explained above, coming out is very difficult, even if I feel ready and that I accept myself. It is really stressful and shattering to shake all these emotions, this is why I chose a less stressing way.If ever you feel the need to talk to me, ask me questions or present me another guy (!), you can call me or reach me by email.Thank you and see you soon!JF
Monday, September 24, 2012
Draft coming out letter to my aunts, uncles and cousins
Over the weekend, I've been thinking a lot about coming out to my extended family. I have come to think that the best way for me to do it was to write them a letter.
Do you think it's a good idea? I will transcript my letter below, so please tell me what you think of it.