Friday, October 19, 2012

"My world getting bigger"

Thanks to Brad for inspiring me today's post title.

Brad had a comment similar to that quote on my latest post, explaining that I can be more of me and that my friendships will get better with my sexual orientation revealed.  I think it's very true, it seems like a world of possibilities is opening to me.

The quote also explains two other things that happened to me in the last week.  But before, I want to share a discussion I had with Jess yesterday at work.  To put things in the context, since the return to work on Monday, everything was cool between her and me and it was as normal as ever with her boyfriend Stan.  I was expecting Stan to be a bit more reserved towards me, but he was not at all, he even seemed more at ease with me.  I ended up wondering if Jess had told him.  So yesterday I asked her:

Me: So, did you tell Stan?
Jess: You mean... about you?
Me: Yes
Jess: Yes
Me: Saturday night?
Jess: Yes
Me: How was it?
Jess: He was OK
Me: Did he react the way you thought he would ? (referring to when she had told me that he would probably say that he already knew I was gay)
Jess: Yes
Me: You guys are funny!
Jess: No you're the one who's funny!

I grimaced to her and she happily replied with one of her own grimace.  We smiled and I left.

So I mentionned my world was getting bigger, right?

Yesterday I finally went to the LGBT center discussion group.  If I wanted to go there, it was to meet new people and friends.  I think it's great what's going on with the blog, but I think its important that my world gets bigger in the "real world" too!  So I was really looking forward to it.  It ended up being a disappointing night. Apart from the animator and me, there was only another guy who didn't say much and three 17 year old girls who live in some kind of "youth house" because their parents can't take care of them.  I have nothing against them, but they were taking so much place (especially one of the girls) that I ended up learning more about the life in a youth house than discussing about gay topics...  I can't say I want to be friends with any of the other participants, so this is disappointing.  The next meeting is in two weeks.  I will go, hoping that there will be new people with whom I could become friends with.  But if ends up being as disappointing as yesterday, I don't think I'll give it a third try...

Luckily, my world did get bigger in another area.  Last Saturday, I joined a gay chat room for the first time.  I had actually never chatted before.  So in this chat room, there's the common room but we can also talk in private to other participants (I guess it's like that in every chat room, but it's new to me, so I'll explain it anyways ;) ) Also I don't think we can chat with a webcam on this chat room, but I don't care because I don't have a webcam and I just want to talk. I've been in the chat room every night since Saturday I think and I had some nice conversations with a few of the participants.  It's really fun to talk to other gay guys... it's not the same thing as talking to straight guys... I even got to show another guy that his life was not lost.  He told me that he was living a big lie and that he was too old to end it.  I said "What? How old are you?" He said 27.  I told him that I first came out at 29, so really, don't give up!!  I also told him what it meant to me to come out, because he was trying to make a point that his sexuality isn't anyone's business.  He also said that straights don't need to tell everyone is straight.  I said that I agreed it was not fair, but on the other end, the straights don't hide their orientation. So, why should we hide it when we're gay.  He was receptive to what I was telling him and he told me that he wouldn't forget that it's not lost for him.  I was quite happy to show him a brighter side of what life can be.  I hope the best for him.

On a lighter note, I did learn a few things on the chat room:
1- Canadians are hot
2- 30 year-olds are sexy
3- French is such a romantic language.

In consequence, I can now affirm that, as a french-speaking 30 year-old canadian guy, I'm the whole package!!  I didn't invent it so it has to be true :)

Also I found that the younger guys can be very easily impressed... by me.  Wait what??  Yeah, the younger guys on the chat room were really funny, being almost in adoration before me.  Of course, there's always some kind of mild flirt going on, so I think they were just trying to be nice with the older dude, but it was fun anyways.

My world is growing bigger with the chat room and I really appreciate all the positive things happening to me right now.  But, of course I want more!!  I want my world to grow much bigger!!!  It will happen!!


  1. Sorry to hear about the LGBT discussion group - that sounded promising. But I'm glad your experiences at work and in the chat room have been favorable.

    Yes, 30-year-old French Canadians are HOT. Is this news to you? For the love you not follow hockey? Those young boys in the chat room were not just being nice to you. :-)

    1. Yes, Ann Marie, I follow hockey (when not in alock-out, grrr...) Are you telling me that the french canadian (ok, let's say Québec) players are hotter than the rest of the players?

    2. You're right, I didn't word my comment very well. What I *meant* to say is that Canada has some fine looking athletes and a sexy French accent just adds to the appeal (regardless if the man identifies as French Canadian or not). I was totally agreeing with your math: Canada + French accent + 30 = Hottie. Aren't you lucky!

      I'm American, so when I said French Canadian I just meant someone from Canada who can speak French. But I know it's more nuanced than that and I'm ignorant of some of the details. I do remember reading a hockey-related article that said that sometimes players don't identify as French Canadian even though they might grow up in Quebec and speak French and vice versa. Am I right?

    3. Well I think I am very lucky Ann Marie LOL

      Don't worry about that whole nuance about French in Canada. There's actually a scene in a Québec movie from the 80's that makes fun of it, it's really funny if you understand French (well, with the Québec accent):

      I identify myself as both Quebecer and Canadian, but I don’t identify as French-Canadian… It may seem weird, but that’s how it is!! So yes, I guess I think like those hockey players LOL I think the general opinion in Québec is that French-Canadians are those who speak French outside of Québec. We also sometimes call “Anglo-Quebecers” those who speak English in Québec. But, nobody is identified as “Anglo-Canadian” or “French-Quebecer”!! Are you still following !?!? Haha !!

      If you'e too confused, you can just forget about it and continue with whatever you were doing before reading my reply :-P

    4. Gosh, JF. I'm just amazed with French as your first language, you can even type this response. Fantastique!

    5. Well, the thing is that we don't have enough of being hot, sexy and romantic. We're also very smart!!

    6. And humble - don't forget humble!! LOL ;)

      Your answer actually helped a lot - thanks! Just curious, are schools in Quebec usually bilingual or do some choose to teach in French/some in English?

    7. I'm just confirming what other people tell me :) LOL
      Hmmm I don't think there is any bilingual school. It's one or the other. However, English is taught as a second language in French schools. I don't know about English schools.

  2. Good morning, JF.
    I completely agree with everything Ann Marie had to say.
    As far as the LGBT group, is there any chance of going to another one if this one continues not to be right for you?

    1. Good idea Susan, I'll try to find another one if I'm still disappointed after the next meeting.

  3. Ha! I love your list of the three things you learned in the chat room. You're too funny! Glad a world of possibilities is opening up for you. Best of luck!

  4. JF: Several points:

    (1) Believe me, the young 'uns were not just being nice to you as an "old dude." To them, you are prime, +1 Grade A meat and don't you forget it! I really am an "old dude" at 50 and I have long accepted the fact that on, the largest group of guys who want to hook up with me are inexperienced young men in their early 20s..... go figure!

    (2) I think it is wonderful that at this early stage in your coming out, you are taking a leadership role in offering advice to other less-out guys. Your response to the 27 hear old who was "living a big lie and that he was too old to end it" was perfect! What would he say about me who came out at the age of 48 after three kids and twenty years of marriage?

    (3) Everyone knows that Canadians are hot, sexy and romantic... French-Canadian ones in particular, especially if they have brown eyes and dark hair....

    1. Hi Buddy!

      1 and 3 : Thanks to confirm it from an insider POV ! However, I have green eyes and blond hair... so I guess you found a flaw here :P

      2: Thanks man. You know he had such a negative attitude towards his future, I just knew it was not true. I had to try to make him change his mind. In the long run, I don't know if he'll remember what I told him, but I hope I have instilled something positive in his soul.

      PS. Prime +1 Grade A meat... wow! I try to stay grounded here :P That's not helping!! (see Ann Marie, it's not my fault!!)

    2. Alright, I'll give you a pass on humility. We do tend to set you up on that one. :)

      Huh, I was picturing dark hair and eyes too.

  5. I think you have to get better at accepting compliments! I'm sure you'll be getting lots of them from guys. Just smile, say "Thank you!" and find something positive (and truthful) to say about the other guy. Works every time!

    And green eyes are even hotter than brown! More uncommon!! I have blonde hair and hazel eyes by the way.

    1. I promise I'll try! I really appreciate your words. Thank you, I'm sure you're a good meat too!!