Friday, October 19, 2012
"My world getting bigger"
Thanks to Brad for inspiring me today's post title.
Brad had a comment similar to that quote on my latest post, explaining that I can be more of me and that my friendships will get better with my sexual orientation revealed. I think it's very true, it seems like a world of possibilities is opening to me.
The quote also explains two other things that happened to me in the last week. But before, I want to share a discussion I had with Jess yesterday at work. To put things in the context, since the return to work on Monday, everything was cool between her and me and it was as normal as ever with her boyfriend Stan. I was expecting Stan to be a bit more reserved towards me, but he was not at all, he even seemed more at ease with me. I ended up wondering if Jess had told him. So yesterday I asked her:
Me: So, did you tell Stan?
Jess: You mean... about you?
Me: Saturday night?
Me: How was it?
Jess: He was OK
Me: Did he react the way you thought he would ? (referring to when she had told me that he would probably say that he already knew I was gay)
Me: You guys are funny!
Jess: No you're the one who's funny!
I grimaced to her and she happily replied with one of her own grimace. We smiled and I left.
So I mentionned my world was getting bigger, right?
Yesterday I finally went to the LGBT center discussion group. If I wanted to go there, it was to meet new people and friends. I think it's great what's going on with the blog, but I think its important that my world gets bigger in the "real world" too! So I was really looking forward to it. It ended up being a disappointing night. Apart from the animator and me, there was only another guy who didn't say much and three 17 year old girls who live in some kind of "youth house" because their parents can't take care of them. I have nothing against them, but they were taking so much place (especially one of the girls) that I ended up learning more about the life in a youth house than discussing about gay topics... I can't say I want to be friends with any of the other participants, so this is disappointing. The next meeting is in two weeks. I will go, hoping that there will be new people with whom I could become friends with. But if ends up being as disappointing as yesterday, I don't think I'll give it a third try...
Luckily, my world did get bigger in another area. Last Saturday, I joined a gay chat room for the first time. I had actually never chatted before. So in this chat room, there's the common room but we can also talk in private to other participants (I guess it's like that in every chat room, but it's new to me, so I'll explain it anyways ;) ) Also I don't think we can chat with a webcam on this chat room, but I don't care because I don't have a webcam and I just want to talk. I've been in the chat room every night since Saturday I think and I had some nice conversations with a few of the participants. It's really fun to talk to other gay guys... it's not the same thing as talking to straight guys... I even got to show another guy that his life was not lost. He told me that he was living a big lie and that he was too old to end it. I said "What? How old are you?" He said 27. I told him that I first came out at 29, so really, don't give up!! I also told him what it meant to me to come out, because he was trying to make a point that his sexuality isn't anyone's business. He also said that straights don't need to tell everyone is straight. I said that I agreed it was not fair, but on the other end, the straights don't hide their orientation. So, why should we hide it when we're gay. He was receptive to what I was telling him and he told me that he wouldn't forget that it's not lost for him. I was quite happy to show him a brighter side of what life can be. I hope the best for him.
On a lighter note, I did learn a few things on the chat room:
1- Canadians are hot
2- 30 year-olds are sexy
3- French is such a romantic language.
In consequence, I can now affirm that, as a french-speaking 30 year-old canadian guy, I'm the whole package!! I didn't invent it so it has to be true :)
Also I found that the younger guys can be very easily impressed... by me. Wait what?? Yeah, the younger guys on the chat room were really funny, being almost in adoration before me. Of course, there's always some kind of mild flirt going on, so I think they were just trying to be nice with the older dude, but it was fun anyways.
My world is growing bigger with the chat room and I really appreciate all the positive things happening to me right now. But, of course I want more!! I want my world to grow much bigger!!! It will happen!!