Sunday, April 14, 2013

Those damn mixed signals

These last days I've been ok and sad alternatively and at repetition!  Mainly because of the mixed signals sent by High school guy and The cook.

High School guy

In our conversations, he was the first to be "flirty" with me.  One night, when I told him I was going to bed he told me "Bonne nuit ptit mec" (Good night lil dude).  I thought it was really sweet and I really liked the cute name.  He had also offered me a motorbike ride.  He was also the first to bring up the opportunity to meet one night, even if it didn't happen.  Oh yeah, he also told me a few times something in the lines that I was cute.

However, I had a huge blow friday night.  The night prior to that, he hat told me that he was not feeling pretty good.  I had asked if there was anything to make him change his mood.  He replied during the day Friday and he said. "Well if (xxxxx) could pay me the money they owe me and if I could find a guy with whom to buid something in the long term, I could change my mind".  For me, it was a really bad attitude and it seemed that he was telling me this as if I was not a potential guy for the long term.  I was already pissed at that answer, and that was before realizing that he had also deleted his profile!!  Now I have no mean to join him!!

Why was he so sweet with me if he didn't see me as a potential boyfrieand?? That blows the limits of my logics.  And if he deleted his account I suppose that he was not interested in anyone on the dating site anymore.  So really it seems like this is over.  This is really disappointing because he has moved in my town and meeting him could have been so easy.

The cook

On Friday night I was also without news from him, even if I had seen him online a couple of times.  That didn't help me lighten my mood.  Like I already expressed, I'm a bit bothered by his lack of "assiduity" to reply to my messages.  However, when he replies, he is always nice and compliments me often (mon beau / my beautiful)

Luckily, I have many friends from the chat room who help me "de-dramatize" everything.  In the last 4 days I think that 4 different guys have cheered me up!! I just hate being so up and down!!  I've never really felt like that before!!  That adds to all the confusion!

Saturday morning I got to chat with The cook and it was really nice.  Our flirting went to another level and it was really nice. (for the record, we were just talking about how we would be good together lying and cuddling in bed!)   Sadly it didn't go through my mind to ask him to fix a date for a future date.  I thought about it later in the afternoon and I sent him a message about that.  During the afternoon I saw that he went online but he didn't answer.  I was becoming to get used to that so I decided not to think about it.  This morning (sunday), I sent him another message when he was online, just telling him about my evening yesterday ( at this point I thought that I should have waited... but I couldn't resist).  He didn't reply and I was so confused again!!!  Luckily I was helped by a friend who just told me to relax and stop focusing on the fact that he doesn't reply because he does seem to like me.  He told me pretty much the same thing that Buddy Bear and The Colorful One wrote as comments 2 posts ago.  So I decided to log off the dating site for many hours and just don't think about it.

5 or 6 hours later, I logged in again and he had replied to the more casual message only, th eone about my evening yesterday.  We exchanged a bit and then I decided to stop.  I will wait at least a day before thinking of talking again about a date.  I don't like to play that game but it seems to be how it works for him :(  I do fear that he has dates with other guys and that I am on the bottom of his list but I try not to think about that!

Major eye opening experience

So I realized that when guys post on their profile that they are open to everything from chatting to friends, to sex to long term; what it means is that they actually want to hook up and if it leads to friendship or long term, that they would be happy with it.  I had really not seen it like that because I had thought that these guys could meet some guys only for sex and they could meet other guys to try to develop something.  But it is apparently not the case... and it shortens by much my possible matches.  I seriously don't consider meeting guys and have sex with them right away, hoping that it could lead somewhere.  Sometimes I wonder why I have to be so prude, but it is just how I am...  I need to have some sort of connection with a guy before thinking of having sex with him.  And I'm not saying that he has to be the love of my life, I just want a connection!  I just don't think that this connection can happen in one date.


  1. I was never one for games either, but a lot of people really enjoy that kind of drama. Don't worry, there are men out there who are looking for the same thing as you. You'll find a match.

  2. High school guy sounds like he was more trouble than he was worth at this point. I know it hurts, but I suspect you're better off not being able to contact him.

    I do fear that he has dates with other guys and that I am on the bottom of his list but I try not to think about that!

    This is a very real possibility. A lot of guys will jump on whoever is available at the moment. I had one ex who was real bad about this, even in texts. He'd text four or five different guys "hey" at the same time, and he'd start talking to whoever responded first, completely ignoring the others.

    I had really not seen it like that because I had thought that these guys could meet some guys only for sex and they could meet other guys to try to develop something.

    Eh, for some of us, it really does work that way. For others, not so much.

  3. No worries, JF, you'll find Mr.Right eventually :)


    1. Haha, yeah that guy was joking about needing to find a nice French Canadian, and posting that's my sense of humor.