Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Follow up with Janice
Tonight I went to talk to Janice. One of the things I wanted to ask her was why were you so sure that I was straight??
She offered me some kind of answer, because she's always elusive when I ask her to get more precise about what she thinks (that's really a big negative side of her). It had already happened a couple of times in the past in non-sexual related subjects.
So from what I get, it's more by default than anything. She said she often wondered why I didn't have a girlfriend and the possibility that I was gay came to her mind, but it's really not a perfect indicator. So she thought I was straight. Two summers ago, we had gone to the beach and she said she was studying me. When beautiful girls would walk in front of me, she studied how I would react. I didn't react much. So she studied how I reacted when beautiful guys did the same, but she says I didn't react neither !! (haha!!) So she was very confused. She told me that afterwards she said to her boyfriend Jack: Is JF an alien?? He didn't look to neither men nor women?!? Jack had answered that she was too curious and that he didn't mind! So she still thought that I was straight.
I laughed so much when she told me that. I told her that I was not alien, but that I was probably hindering myself from looking too much at the guys. I can't believe I managed to fool her!!! I can't believe I was so successful at it. (Now I suspect that she'll watch me whenever she sees a guy to find out what's my type of guys)
She told me that, even if she recognizes that it has no correlation, the fact that she thinks I'm not virile enough (1), made her question herself about me. But it was rightfully not enough to make her think that I was gay.
Apart from that, she told me that she was really happy for me to accept who I am and I sincerely believe her. But she told me that she will now probably be less open to me. I didn't understand, I told her that if she was a guy, it would make more sense, because we often see guys who are afraid that their gay friend is attracted to them.... but what's the matter with her?? I tried to understand but once again she was too evasive. Seriously, how can it change our friendship?? I don't see what is the kind of things that she used to tell me that she won't tell me now?? Am I just not getting women?? If so I'm really happy to be gay haha.
So Janice is not done with me, I won't give up on her. I want to know what's going on in her head.
(1) For Janice, any man less manly than Jason Statham is not virile!! She's always teased me telling that I was not virile enough for her, but I know that it's not the truth. She does think that I am virile, but she has a lot of difficulty to admit that she finds a guy like me virile. She's a special character!