Friday, November 16, 2012
Shopping for a man, Part 2
I had an excellent plan!!
I realized late Saturday night that there was a mistake on my invoice for the items I had purchased at the store. I had paid more than I should have. So, that was the perfect excuse for me to go back to the store and get to talk to my maybe-interested-in-me-salesman.
I wanted to get to see him when there would be not too many people in the store. So I thought that on lunchtime would be a good time. Of course, I had no idea of his schedule, so it was a guessing game.
Monday, I made sure to bring the invoice with me at work so I could get to the mall on lunchtime. I went to the store, but he was not there.
Tuesday, same story.
Wednesday, I went back with the invoice in my pocket again. He was there. And there was only another saleswoman with him and there was no other customer. Surprisingly, I went without hesitation. I entered in the store and the girl welcomed me, while the guy didn't have any particular reaction. I went to talk to the guy and explain him that there was a mistake on my invoice. So we looked together at the 4 items in question and we looked at them around the store to make sure that I was not wrong. Unfortunately, he wasn't as chatty as the other day and didn't really seem to have any interest in me. In the end, I was right about the error on the invoice, so the made me a credit note and got the reimbursment on my credit card. I had to sign my name and write my phone number on the store's copy for their files. I thought about a few lines, but didn't say anything. I was not nervous, I was just unable to do the next step...
After the transaction was done, I told him that I would have to come back to purchase a scarf to go with my new coat. He said that he receives new clothes every wednesdays, so its probably the best day to come. It was said in a serious manner. It was time for me to go or to dive.... I simply thanked him, calling him by his name. He remembered my name with a bit of hesitation. We shook hands and all the while of this little departure chat, I was looking directly in his eyes, trying to catch something, or at least show that I'm interested. I didn't see anything particular in his eyes :(
So I left, being frustrated at myself to not have been able to dive when I really had the perfect opportunity to get to chat with him some more and try to be flirty.
I hoped that maybe he would pick my number and call me. But as of today (Friday), he has not called me. I'm not ready to abandon the idea that I can get to know this guy more. I have to know if he's gay or not. I have to let a few days pass and I may come back with another plan that seems not too bad in my mind right now. I just need to give myself some time...
In the last 2 days, I have had time to think about why I blocked to try to flirt with him and I think I have found the answer. I fear that I would be humiliated if I flirt with him but he says that he's not gay at all. I would feel so naive and stupid... It would be way better for me if he tells me that he already has a boyfriend. But if he's not gay, I would feel diminished and really fooled. I'm sure that if I was 100% sure that he's gay, it would be much easier for me. I guess thats every gay's biggest problem.