Saturday, December 29, 2012

How to screw up your last chance with a guy in one simple lesson

Hey everyone!!

I've been delaying this post a bit, waiting to see if things would unfold differently than what I thought.

To explain what happened concernaing the waiter, I'll begin by saying that in the end my "my allies" couldn't help me, so I had to work things up by myself.

To recall the events, here is a transcript of a discussion I had last saturday in the chat room.  Sorry for the bad typing!!

MEI just called
HIMa n d?
HIMget a name?
MEnot even LOL
MEhear this
MESo I called a first time like 7 minutes ago
MEI say to the girl who answer: can i talk to a blond waiter I know he worked last saturday do you know if he,s working now
MEshe says:
MEOh I don,t know I'm at a calling center
MEI cannot transfer you because they,re business hours are closed
MEbut i can let them a message
MEI hesitated and I said no I'll call back
MESo I ended the call
MEI was kinda mad cause 10 minutes before it was during the business hours....
MEI thought fast
MEand decided to call back
MESo I called again
HIMget a different girl?
MEno the same girl
MEbut I told her that i wanted to left a message in the end
MESo I give my name (full name!!)
MEand my cell number
MEshe asks if there is another number just in case
MEso I give my house number as well!!!
HIMlol jf
HIMgetting brave!!!!!
MEShe asks if it was about a question...
MEi said no
MEI want to talk to the blond waiter
MEI dont know what she thought LOL
MESo she's supposed to land them the message.....
MEnow I must wait
MEbut i dont even know if he works tonight, but chances are high
MEi asked her if she knew the people working there and she said no
HIMso what will you say when he calls you
MEjust a calling center
MEnot that brave... I spent 15 minutes staing at my phone before aclling
when he calls I'll make sure its the right guy
MEIll try not to baffle too much
HIMand then say
HIMsaw you last week
HIMyou are really cute
HIMlike to gat a coffee somethign
MEwell first I'mm gonna ask him if he remembers me
MEthen when he will, I'll ask him if he'd like to have a drink with me sometime
HIMths does sound GOOD jf
HIMvery good infact
MEI wonder how the info will be transferred to him and if people will make fun of him though... a guy who asks for him....
HIMthat will tell you somethign also
HIMif he calles after that - after people joking
HIMit will say that he actually MIGHT be gay and willing to meet somoene
MEyes of course
HIMand that would be a GOOD thing
MEthe worst thing is that I would never hear from him again
MEwhich would not be so bad after all
HIMwell, that would also be a message
MEwell now I must wait
MEdifferent kind of nervousness
HIMbe certain to let us KNOW
MEwhere my cellphone? need to find it!
MEI just hope my memory is good and that he,s really blond!!!
HIMha ha ha
HIMfingers crossed
MEkinda sad about the wole call center thing tho....
MEnot very romantic
HIMyes - but it DOES show that you are determined
MEit would have been much less complicated if I had realized last saturday that I needed to talk to him THEN
HIMI bet you will never miss another opportunity like that again!!!!!
MEI hope I can learn from that!

So yeah, I did call.... I stared at my phone a long time before calling, but when I did it, I was decided and confident, which was a good thing.  However, I couldn't talk to him directly, which was a bummer.  I then had to wait!!  But, a few minutes after that chat, I was chatting with Vickie on facebook.  I had not told her yet that I had called the waiter and she told me that he was brown haired !!!!

Here's my reaction:

Me: Fuck!
Me: Fuck Fuck!!!!!
Vickie: Don't worry you'll just have to do the same dirty dreams with a brown haired guy instead of a blond haired guy
Me: No!! I called and let a message to the blond waiter....  Fuck.....
Vickie:  LOL!!!!  Oh no!!!!!!
Me: You really sure he has brown hair?
Vickie: sure at 98%
Me:  Fuckkkkk!!! I'm done... he'll never call me back now
Vickie: Yeah he porbably won't feel concerned about the call.
Me: I piss me off... I'm so stupid
Vickie: Ohhh I laugh so much I'm crying its crazy!!!
Me; LOL you piss me off... but at least I laugh too.
Vickie: Ahhh you've made my day!!!
Me: I knew I was not good noticing people's hair color... but this is worst than I could have imagined.
Vickie: You really are not talented at this!!
Me: Fuck... LOL

That's how I screwed my chance with the waiter...  as you can imagine, 7 days later, he has not called back!!  I'm pissed off at myself, but I don't take it too bad. I can even laugh about it, which is a good sign.  

What I have learned from this is to take the opportunity when it arises (not wait later to come back or call back) and also to really observe the physical caracteristics of a guy I want to date cause it can become really handy !! 

It will be hard for me to take the opportunity when it arises, because I have simply never done that.  But at least now know what to work on!!!  And I have some friends who are willing to help me :)


  1. Are you sure there is nothing more you can do about this? Can you call the place again and try to leave a message for the brown-haired guy?

  2. Ahaha, you really were focused on his...walk.

    I'm with Susan, if you really are into this guy it's not necessarily the end. Restaurants are crazy places - that message could have gotten lost in the shuffle or he could think it's a message from a customer with a complaint, etc. Or he could think the message isn't for him because he's brunette (ha ha).

    Could you go back to the restaurant and accidentally run into him? Or maybe find somebody who was working with him that night and get some info? If that message comes up just say, "Blonde? No I totally said brown hair!" (You can tell the truth later.)

  3. Don't you think face to face is a better approach? Why don't you just go back the restaurant and approach this guy? Maybe I'm missing something here.

    He gets a phone message from some guy -- for what reason is a mystery. Is it reasonable to expect him to call you?

  4. It is not a restaurant, it is a reception room.... where you have to have a party organized to go there. I just feel like a total stalker now. Going again after him seems too much for me. What I may have ofrgotten to mention is that when I left the message, I said the blond waiter working last saturday. When he got the message, surely he knew it was me cause I really doubt someone else made eye contact and smiles with him. So for me, he has received the message and is not interested in me. I may be wrong but for now this is how I feel.

    1. Got it. Nothing wrong with letting a situation drop.

      Don't feel stalkery. Here's why:
      - Your smile/eye contact was nice. Waiters/waitresses get flirted with all the time. I used to work at a family restaurant (I swear it was a family restaurant) with the unfortunate name of Woody's. If I didn't get some variation of the "Are you the cause or the cure?" joke during a shift I was slipping. I've been out with female friends who've been equally flirtatious with male waiters. So I don't think your behavior was too much (and he might not have even noticed).

      - As a waitress, I would never have assumed a phone call from a customer had a romantic intent. I'd probably think, "Oh great - he lost something and now wants me to check the booth..and the bathroom..and the parking lot".

      You were interested in a guy and you followed up. And you know your friends have your back. I think you did good.

    2. Yes, exactly! What Ann Marie said!

  5. Ok, here is what I think could have transpired. I believe it's possible the man didn't even get the message. The person taking the call could have handed it to some unknown blonde guy who thought wtf and threw it away OR he could have received it and thought it was for someone else bc he is in fact brunette.


  6. Catching eyes and a smile from a cute guy is definitely a thrill. I can understand why you want to pursue this guy and why you wanted to pursue the guy at the clothing store. But with that said, I think you've put too much effort into chasing these questionable leads. You don't know if they're gay. You don't know if they're single. And even they are, you don't know if you have anything in common. A more constructive approach would be to try some on-line dating sites. That way you'd be fishing in small pond where the guys want to be caught, instead of fishing in an unpredictable ocean where anything can happen.

    Speaking of fishing...the dating site Plenty of Fish is very popular in other parts of Canada. Maybe you should give that a try?

    1. TwoLives, thanks for your comment.
      You make me realize that there are some of my thoughts that I have not yet synthetized into a post. My answer to your comment will be in my next blog post.