Saturday, February 23, 2013

Completing the story: How I met Flyman

I suppose the only thing I haven't said about Flyman and I is how we met.

It began a Saturday evening.  I was really bored at home and I was reflecting on the whole dating / going to gay bar / meeting guys thing.  At first I was trying to find a gay bar in a nearby city.  After about an hour of research (or maybe really less....  it was a really boring evening!),  it turned out that there was only one, which happens to be in my own town (I already knew that it existed, but I didn't know that there was none in the nearby towns.)

Somehow I decided to check some dating sites that I had been suggested to watch.  I went for the first time on Gay411 and saw that there were lots of guys from my town!  Finally!!!  Of course, many are totally out of my age range, others are couples, others just want sex.... so it brought the number down for potential meetings.  But I was happy to finally find a place where there are gay guys from my town.  After unsuccessfull attemps on other dating sites, I was beginning to think that there was no other gay guy in my town!  Also, there were lots of guys from nearby towns so it was just good.

I created my account, but unfortunately, I had to wait max 48 hours to have it activated.  The next morning, I saw that it was activated and that I had received a few messages already.  I chatted with a guy during the day, but there was not much enthousiam from neither of us I think.

Later that evening, another guy started chatting with me.  It was Flyman.  We got along well from the start and we found out that we had lots of things in common (looking back at it, those things were not so important to start any kind of relationship, but it was a starting point I guess!!)

He wanted to meet me the same night!  I disagreed and said it was too early.  In the end, we agreed on going dinner together the next Tuesday night.

You know the rest of the story.  In the meantime, I received very few messages on Gay411, but I have to admit that I didn't really want to meet other guys while I was dating Flyman.

Now that it's over between the 2 of us, I'm still not focused on trying to meet other guys.  I've been telling myself that I needed to have my mind clear about my health before meeting other guys.  But at the same time, I just hope that I am not lying to myself and building a wall around my heart....


  1. I was running some errands this morning and heard Madness about three times. You know that song makes me think of certain Quebecers. :) I'm glad you're doing okay.

    I think it's pretty normal to take a little break from dating, especially since you've had health concerns and experienced a heckuva lot of "firsts" in a very short amount of time. Nothing wrong with taking a breather before gettng back in the dating scene.

  2. I wouldn't overthink this, JF. Everything you've mentioned about feeling sounds perfectly normal for what you have been going through. Just give yourself time. You'll know when you're ready to start up again. Take care.

  3. Thanks, girls. With all the health concerns, I had forgotten the many firsts I have experienced with Flyman. Even if I took my time, still a lot happened in a short span of time. I'm not used to so many firsts!!

  4. This is all very normal. Many guys aren't comfortable going to gay bars in their own town....especially when they are not totally out. Online is the new gay bar. Easier for shy guys!