Weekend adventures - part 3

Last Tuesday : Ok I know it's not the weekend but nonetheles....  I had invited J over or dessert.  He actually never came at my place even if I went at his place numerous times.  At around  4PM when I was still at work, he called me saying we could go see a drag show that evening. ( we have been talking about doing this for a few weeks but it never worked out).  And... it didn't work out this that time neither.... he told me he was sick...

Friday: I had another date with Johnny.  During the week, he had told me that sometimes he thinks he talks too much, but I said it was ok for me because I know I'm not a huge talker.  Knowing that, I thought that maybe he had held back from talking more and that maybe my interest in him could come back.  I went at his place after dinner.  We talked some and we watched a movie, cuddling on the couch again.  But as we were watching the movie, I knew the interest wouldn't come.  After the movie he asked if I could massage his back, because it hus him a lot.  I accepted and we went on his bed to do so.  After the massage, I layed beside him and we just stayed there cuddling for a while.  it was getting quite late and I think he would have wanted me to stay there for he night.  But i just couldn't.  I said that I was leaving and he let me go.  We hugged again and this time he didn't try to kiss me.  On my drive back home, it was clear that I needed to let him know that i don't see him as more than a friend.

Saturday: J called me in the afternoon.  He wanted to have dinner and watch movies during the evening.  I said Ok.  We had a good time together going to the restaurant, at the restaurant, then coming back to his place.  Came movie time and he told me to go on a different couch then the one he was on.  As I try to stay cool and careful with everything that happens between us, I did as he asked.  After the movies, he said he was going to bed and this time he didn't invite me to stay, which saddened me a bit because I would have taken a bit of human warmth.

Sunday morning: I called Johnny.  I told him that I dn't see him as more than a friend and that I still think he was great qualities.  He said it was OK and that he saw it coming a bit ( it's true that I have been a tad cold with him). On his side, he told me that since I don't talk a lot, he didn't know if he could have interest in me yet, but was willing to be patient to learn more from me.  10 minutes after the call, he texted me that even if it's ok, the situation hurts him a bit. I texted him back that I'm really sorry.

So I'm back at square 1 and I'm definitely not happy about it.  I'm hating the dating sites more and more every day and I just want the day where I won't need to look for my man to arrive.

At least, as many would say, I'm having fun along the way and I have new experiences.... but I just want one man to love me and to love him back.