Monday, July 9, 2012
Being gay brings a guy to question a lot of things. It also brings him to to try to conciliate his difference with what is widely accepted as "normal". (But being able to conciliate the difference doesn't mean that he doesn't embrace it as well.)
Over the last months, I have come to wonder about sexuality. What is it exactly ? How should it be expressed? Can a sexual orientation be wrong?
Here is the fruit of my thinking.
Sex: the sexual act, not to mix up with sexuality.
Sexuality: I see it as the way people have intimate bonds.
Why do people need to have intimate bonds? Because that's the kind of animals we are. Humans are social and sexual beasts. Apart from a few exceptions, we need to live in groups and we need sexual connection not only during the love (reproduction) season, but all year long. That's what we are, and I believe many people are quite happy about that. So, we are made to have intimate bonds, therefore we are meant to live sexuality.
Now, I'll deconstruct my definition of sexuality.
Intimacy: I see it as the deepest emotional and physical aspects of a person.
Bond: a close relationship between 2 persons or more. There are many ways to achieve that and many are non-sexual: family, friends, team... None of the previous types of bonds satisfies both the deepest emotional and physical needs of a person. Only the sexual bond can bring that (even though sometimes it doesn't... but I suppose in these cases, there is no real bond, just sex). To me, the intimate bond (and therefore sexuality) is a close relationship that allows two or more persons to share their deepest emotional and physical aspects.
Sexual orientation: I see it as the way a person expresses his sexuality. I see it as the way a person expresses his humanity (I don't want to say that asexual people are not human... I have not reflected on asexuality).
Some people share intimate bonds with same sex partner(s), others with opposite sex partner(s), others with both sex partner(s). That's human, that's the kind of animal we are. We're social and sexual beasts and we have to express it. Whatever the mean... who cares, as long as everyone involved is consenting?? There is no bad sexual orientation, as they are all meant to express ourselves, but in slightly different ways.
Our sexual orientation is our way to express who we are. We all have one and it's what brings us all together as humans. However, the differences in sexual orientation shouldn't cause division or isolation. Division and isolation can break humanity and humankind. I think nobody wants that to happen. Let's all just be open about our diversity to be all humans.
That explains pretty much my views on the subject. I hope I have not hurt anyone in the process. I really would like you to tell me what you think about it now. I may have completely missed some very important points, so I would like to know. Also, if someone could try to fit the the asexuality into it, I would be glad to read it. Thanks for reading and commenting.