Thursday, January 24, 2013
My feelings for Flyman and the 3rd date
In my lasts 2 posts, I didn't really mention what my feelings for Flyman were on purpose. I tried to concentrate on the events that unfolded and also on the things I learned about myself. A reason for that is that right after my first date, I was doubtful that it could click between us. And since I was somewhat confused about it, I thought it would be better not to add that confusion in my posts that are probably confusing enough!!
After the first date, I already thought that it wouldn't click for me. There is no particular reason for that. Yes there are things that I wish could be different in him, but they would not matter as much if I was feeling something like love for him. I told Jack, Vickie and my brother about it. They were all nice and saying I would find someone else if it didn't work with Flyman.
But, I was not ready to give up after only one date. This is why we proceeded with the second date. But after that second date, I didn't feel like things would change for me. I didn't want to mess with him. I wanted to be honest and not give him false hopes. So I had decided that on the next date, I would tell him that I didn't think it would work.
That 3rd date arrived fatser than I thought. It was 2 days later, last Sunday. When I arrived, we went in his bed again and started cuddling. I have to say it was a bit weird for me since I knew what I wanted to tell him after dinner, but I think I managed to forget about it and just chill out. After that, dinner was ready (he had prepared my favorite meal: lasagna!!). The lasagna was very good, but my mood was a bit sad and I was less enthousiastic as I had been on our previous meals together.
After dinner, we went back on his bed and I asked him if he thought it was starting to click for him. He said yes a bit. He asked me the same and I had no choice but to tell him that I didn't think it will ever click for me. He took it well and I think I was more shaken by my announcement than he himself was. I think I was containing my tears, looking up at the ceiling, trying to avoid looking at thim. I told him that I was sad cause he is a good guy and I don't want to hurt him.
He was really OK and he asked if we could stay friends. I said yes, because that is really more like how I was seeing him. Surprisingly, after that, he started cuddling and kissing me. I have to say I was puzzled by that behavior but I let him do for a bit. After that we decided to go rent a movie for us to watch it later.
We rented "Ted" with Mark Whalberg and it was hilarious!! Please make sure to watch the uncensored version it is too funny!!! As a side note, in the movie, they talk about the movie "Jack and Jill" which really sucked. I said Flyman that this statement was true because when I saw the movie, I didn't even laugh once. Flyman said: "But you always laugh!?!?!?!" I replied: "That's to show how bad the movie was!!" I was happy that my "joie de vivre" and laughter are things he has noticed about me. But on the other hand, he has also told me that he was sure that I drank coffee because I'm always "on speed". I was like "Whaaatt??? I don't drink coffee and I've never considered myself to be on speed!!" I don't really know where that comes from but it was fun to learn!!
We watched the movie on the floor, like for the first date, but this time we were much closer. He spent most of the movie with his head on my chest and caressing me a bit!! (Ok I'm blushing LOL) After the movie ended, we got even "closer". LOL. It was a good time and I kinda let myself go a bit, trying to forget about love, friendship or whatever we could call what is between him and me. For the record, we were both very aroused and enjoying it :)
Stay tuned for more!! There surely are more twists to come!!