Sunday, June 23, 2013
Running after SL
I had seen SL 5 days out of the last 9. I was missing him and I really needed to talk to him about our sexual compatibility. However, I had noticed that he was much less enthousiastic in talking to me or meeting me. We had talked about meeting the following weekend, but then he told me that he couldn't. That weekend, at one point he was supposed to contact me and he didn't. I was definitely mad at him. I remember walking around in my house, on the verge of hitting or breaking something. I went into the chat room and got to talk to a few of my friends there and it helped me calm down.
I was thinking that he had dumped me before I would have finished dealing with him. As if the grass was cut under my feet. It ended up that he didn't want to stop evrything with me, but it seems like I am more demanding when comes time to respect arrangements than he is.
During the next week, we chatted again on Skype, but he was still a bit distant. I wanted to talk about my issues, but in person, not via another mean. But he always rejected my offers.
It happened that High School guy contacted me that week. He was available on Friday evening. Even if It was not really over with SL, I decided to go, since it's just so complicated to have a date with High school guy. We went to grab a dessert at a local restaurant and we had a good time. Near the end, he said he was happy to have met me because he learned some interesting facts about me. In opposition to what he remembered from me from high school, I looked more interesting. So with that kind of comment I kinda understood that he was not so eager to meet me since he thought I was boring (I was a really quiet guy in high school). I didn't make much of a big deal about it.
The next tuesday or wednesday, it had been more than 2 weeks I had not seen SL. But he finally explained to me why he had been so distant.
I thought it was because he didn't like me. But , it was actually the opposite... He explained that he was starting to have feelings for me. But at the same time, the distance between us was hurting him too much. He had experienced it with a previous boyfriend, and he said it hurt too much and he doesn't want to live that again. I asked him why he accepted to meet me in the first place, cause I never hid my location from him. He said that he wanted to give it a try, but he realized that he couldn't handle it.
I asked him when he realized that. He said that it was during the week after our last date. I said that I thought it was before that. He asked why. I said that the last Sunday morning when we were in bed together, that I had found him distant and that I had been actually close to telling him. He said that he had not felt like that that morning and that it was ally after that that he realized it.
During the rest of the week, I kept repeating to him that I wanted to see him again so we could talk. I still wanted to talk to him about the sex issues, cause I had the feeling that he was maybe not totally honest with me and with himself about it. I was thinking (for more reasons than I have already mentionned on this blog) that he may not fully accept being gay. So this is definitely a topic I wanted to address with him.
He agreed to come see me on friday evening. He would arrive at around 5PM and leave around 11PM. I told him he could stay for the night, that we could share the bed without doing anything naughty. He kept repeating that he wanted to go back home the same evening. He arrived as promised. I had wanted to prepare dinner, but it was so hot that day, I had no intention to turn the oven on. So we chatted a bit and we went to a restaurant. As usual, we had a good time. I even noticed a guy from the dating site at a table nearby. He was real cute and had nice hairy legs :). I told SL about him, but I told him that I remembered his profile and that it said that he was not interested in anyone over 25. So I knew I was out of the loop!!
After that we went shopping for something to fix his AC. ( it was really needed on that hot weekend). We had fun shopping together, even if I usually hate shopping. After that we went back home and went rollerblading. I really had a good time and I felt good with him. After the run, we were back home and chilled there a bit before he said he would leave. I again offered him to stay for the night, but he was determined to leave. I really wanted to cuddle him or get closer to him, but I didn't since I knew he didn't want that. He wanted us to stay friends, so anything more than a friendship move would not be a good idea if I didn't want to hurt him.
I ended up not talking to him about sex, because we were such in a good mood, I didn't want to ruin it. Also, since we were not dating anymore, I didn't feel like it was so important to talk about it so rapidly. I decided that I would wait for a good moment for it to happen.
It is the next day that I met MC on the dating site and actually met him that night. The day after that he came at my place. I had 2 different guys visit me in 3 days, I really wonder if my neighbours think I'm a whore LOL.